You may feel like the coolest guy in the world when you’re hanging with the guys, but when you are getting ready for a date with a girl who said yes to you, you suddenly feel like the biggest space cadet on the planet. Everything you thought you knew about women was *poof* gone because all you can think about is how badly you want her to dig you as much as you dig her. Before you psyche yourself out, take a brief course in First Date 101. Stop over-thinking what is supposed to be a fun day out, and just use these oh so simple rules to impress your way to date No. 2:
- Keep it simple. This is a date; this is not rocket science. Phineas Mollod and Jason Tesauro, authors of The Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses and Ringless Carousers suggest that men over-think their dates too much. Remember this is a meeting like any other meeting that you are going to take; the only difference is that unspoken variable referred to as chemistry. If it’s there, you can take it from there, and if it’s not, then it’s not. No harm, no foul.
Keep the most simple perspective possible going in, and the pressure will diminish immediately. When you feel less pressure, you feel more confident, and that makes it easier to have a good time.
- Plan something fun, and yes, you do the planning. For a first date, choose something you think most people will choose, and yes, she wants you to plan this first one.
She is waiting to be swept off her feet, so the sweeping is your job. This means you take control with confidence, but not arrogance, and you make sure you are the one that is tending to her every need and making sure she is comfortable in every single way. When you ask her out, find out what she likes to do and then plan it. See? Easy.
- Be a gentleman. If you want this date to go the long haul, be a gentleman right from the first date and stick to high standards. Treat her like you would if it were 1920 and your only goal is to show her the utmost respect. Women who are looking for men to go the long haul are looking for men who appeal to them in this way, even if they are confident women and leaders in their own rights. They are looking for someone that is different than all the rest. Be that guy by going overboard on the manners.
- Look her in the eye. When you look a woman in the eye, it sends her the message that she can trust you, that you take her seriously and that you aren’t just out for a roll in the hay. If that is the message that you want to send, then send it. Look her in the eye when you are talking to her, listening to her and you will find her gazing right back into yours.
- Take control of the details. This is in line with the point on planning, but make sure you plan those little things that she won’t be expecting you to. Those little surprises will make her not even blink twice to go out with you again. Make sure she has a ride home before the subject even comes up at the end of the day. For example, have a cab number on hand or give her a ride yourself. Bring a nice little gift for her that is different than the standard flowers just to show her she is on your mind. It is the gesture, not the amount you spend, that makes the point to her through these details that you are a guy that is different than the rest.
The Bottom Line:
The bottom line with your first date with any woman is to simply revert back to old-fashioned manners and grace, and stand out from the crowd by being a modern gentleman. Manage those little details that she is used to taking care of herself just to show her that you will be good to have around for the long haul.
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