It is a whole new world when it comes to dating in the 21st century. If you have returned to the dating scene after an extended hiatus or have been dumped more times than you care to remember due to a misdirected text, it would behove you to brush up on your 21st-century dating etiquette.
At the top of that list is the list of new rules for dating that covers the mysterious world of texting. If you handle this brave new world in the same way that Marc Anthony can handle the Tango, then you will stay at the top of the dating game hierarchy. One wrong move though and your digits will be dropped faster than you can check your Facebook status, as will your status on the playing field according to Michael Masters, author of Text Appeal: For Guys. Stay one step ahead of your competition by always being the bigger gentleman and sticking to the only rules you need for texting women today:
- Be brief. Abbreviations are OK, and for her, are preferred over not hearing from you at all say digital dating gurus Olivia Baniuszewicz and Debra Golstein the authors of Flirtexting. She knows this is a casual platform. That doesn’t mean you can let your spelling reach seventh-grade level though. She still wants you to be clever, even on SMS. Do away with the one-word responses, but master being brief while maintaining respect.
- Refrain from the mass text. There are men reading this who are asking, “Does this really need to be said?” This has happened to every woman at least once, and that’s because the man sending the mass texts thinks he’s covered his tracks well. He hasn’t. They know.
- Remember that everything you say can and will be used against you in the best friends court of law. If you don’t want to look like a jerk, don’t say or text things that will make you look a little less than sensitive.
When you confuse her, as you will, she will refer to exhibits texts A, B and C with her own panel of judges, and they will hang you out to dry before you have even had an opportunity yourself to submit evidence or explanation of your whereabouts on the night in question.
Just be a gentleman, respect her in the way you wish to be respected, and it will have her panel of judges crooning over how lucky she is to have such a great guy in her life.
- Last-minute invites are OK. In the digital age, authors Golstein and Baniuszewicz say you just can’t think badly of a guy that reaches out by text. Women do not make it easy when it comes to getting asked out sometimes, and this is a good tool, especially for those shy guys.
Women don’t mind, and some even prefer this method of communication. Just remember that the rule of thumb for most women is that if you are texting a last-minute invitation after midnight, she thinks you want one thing only. If you don’t, be specific, or the assumption will be made otherwise.
- Be confident. If you are going to resort to what some may consider the less courageous form of talking to a girl you like, then at least be bold in your approach says Michael Masters. And she will like that. A lot. Be the man with the plan. Texting back and forth “Hey, how you doin‘?”, “Whatcha up to?”, or “What’s up?” aren’t communicating you are into her directly. When you text, “Hey, does Miss Pretty want to meet me at the bowling alley at noon for some drinks and fun?”, then she responds exactly the way you want her to. The last thing you want her doing is looking at her phone wondering, “Why is he texting? What does he mean?”
- Don’t drink and dial. What was drinking and dialling for one era is drinking and texting for another. Just don’t do it. The reasons haven’t changed; it’s still just an all around bad idea.
- Don’t crack text. Crack texting is a term coined from the very process of mastering the etiquette of texting in the dating world. Michael Masters says the general rule of thumb for quantity of texting time is one text received equals one text responded to. Crack texting occurs when you text multiple times to the same person rambling on and on by text, without an equal response.
The Bottom Line:
When it comes to texting women today, the bottom line is use your common sense. When in doubt, always text back, as that is exactly what she is waiting for. If you aren’t sure what to say to her but want to know where her head is at, a simple text checking in on her and saying hello will be all she needs to get right back on the same page with you. Treat your texting manners in the same way that you would want to be treated, and you will always stay at the top of your game in the world of texting and dating.
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